Representation of males and females within my music video

MALES
Within my music video, Andy, who features as Jack in the video, it the only male character. Jack has a positive outlook from the video. You can tell from the video that he is great friends with Daisy, who are shown as companions throughout the video. This tall large frame demonstrates compared to Daisy represents him as a 'friendly-giant', which gives a good impression towards his gender as a whole. He wears typical normal clothes, with a typical boyish hairstyle of a boy of that age, represents him as a relatable character. As well as this, there are many face on medium shots of Jack throughout the video, demonstrating that he is not intimidating but just an average, relatable boy!
Jack can also seem quite mysterious such as the final clip of the video. It is quite dominating, but it does not reflect him in a negative way. 

FEMALES
Molly, who plays Daisy in the video, also reflects a positive representation. Shown as slightly younger than Jack, you can see that she admires him and looks out for him. On the other hand, she is shown in scenes alone without him, suggesting that she is independent and not dependant on a man. She is a typically girly girl. She is shown putting lipstick on in the mirror, and turns around to pout to the audience. She shows her as a person who cares about her appearance. Her clothes reflect this too, as they tend to be more bright then Jacks are. 

Software

BLOGGER 

I used blogger to present my work and findings. I found this an exciting new way of laying out my research, compared to AS when we used Microsoft Powerpoint. It was extremely simple and easy to use. What I found most helpful was that it was 'website friendly' e.g., it was very simple to download things such as movies and photos from elsewhere online. 

• YOUTUBE

I used Youtube when doing my research on other music videos at the beginning of my planning. This was a simple and easily accessible site, which had all of the content that I needed. 

At the end of my project, I used Youtube to download my music video on to the interent. Yet again this was very straight-foward, and a very beneficial skill to learn for the future. 

• IMOVIE 

I used imovie to create my music video. As a software that I had n previous experience of, I had to look up many of the features by watching youtube videos. Now I have learnt a lot about the software, which was not only suitable for making my music video, but the skills I learnt will be useful for the future. 

• IPHOTO 
  

I used imovie to store my photos and videos that I had taken. This was a useful software to store all my data. 

• MICROSOFT WORD

I used Microsoft word to design my advertisement and my digipak. This simple software was exactly what I needed, as it had the simplistic tools that I knew how to work therefore I was able to also use my time effectively. 

Narrative in the music video

My video has a simple narrative, which sets the scene of the story about a girl (Molly) and a boy (Andy) who are in love. 

They are of a similar age to the target market, therefore, I thought that a theme of 'young love' would appeal to both girls and boys. 

The end scene is emphasised in slow motion with them holding hands and laughing. 

This gives a lively positive outlook on young relationships and the target market can relate to this. 

The narrative has an ambiguous nature to it, as the fire is left unattended at the end, suggesting that problems may arise. 

Suspense is built due to the fact that Andy and Molly are often scene running away from something. It is unknown to the audience what they are running away from...

The significance of media language on the audience

MISE-EN-SCENE

From the beginning of research and planning, I wanted mise-en-scene to be casual and colloquial. This is because (as you can see from my evaluation) when I analysed similar existing media products, the costume that the artists wore were normal, everyday clothes, and nothing extravagant. The colours were low key, and none of them matched. The reason why I wanted to carry this forward to my own costume design was because I wanted to make the artists relatable to my market target. These types of casual outfits are the types that fans can copy and be influenced by. Before I made this plan final, I asked a small group of people what they thought about the idea. They said that not only did it make them look more relatable, but also more approachable and "down to earth". This is the exact image that I wanted to portray for the artists. 

This look says a lot about the band. It suggests that they are relaxed and are talented in their music as they are more concerned about their work then their image

For the target market, the costumes may be 'cool' and something to copy. To an older audience, this look might be perhaps communicated as scruffy, untidy and dishevelled. However, after taking this in to consideration I realised that my main aim was my target market. 

CAMERA EDITING

The slow motion was used approximately three times throughout the video. An example of this is when Andy and Molly are running away from the screen. 

The reason I used slow motion at this point was simple. The slow motion gave direct emphasis on the two characters running away in to the dark. The direct effect of this of this was it gave time for the audience to interpret the scene and ask "Why are they running?" "What are they running away from?" They added to the intensity of the scene for the audience. 

In contrast, I used fast motion as well. This was an effect of juxtapose and made the movement of the scenes unpredictable, making the visuals more interesting. the direct effect on the audience was that the contrast of fast and slow added to the visuals and heightened their intensity of what was going to come in the narrative.

My video, which is based during night time, quite often included scenes with a dull background. With sepia, more of the scenery and setting was able to be interpreted. An example of this is during the meadow scene, which I used as a sepia effect to contrast with the darkness of the other scenes. The direct effect on the audience is that the audience becomes more engaged with the video as it is a change of scenery which is appealing to the eye. Another effect is that they can identify with the scenery and be able to make a clearer sense of the narrative. 

 

The backwards editing, for example, of the fire. There are many direct effects of this on the audience. Firstly, it disorientates the reader. Not in a bad way, but the audience is subjected to different contrasting images which is interesting for the audience. 

CAMERA ANGLES/MOVEMENTS

Many varying camera angles are used throughout the video. An establishing shot is used t the beginning of the video to help set the scene. The direct effect on the audience is that they are introduced to the artists, which feature throughout the video, therefore it is important. 

A mid-close up is used of both Andy and Molly singing at the beginning. The direct effect on the audience is that the close-up takes us into the mind of a character. It is an very intimate shot, which lets us identify with the artists. 

An extreme close up is used of Andy's face at the end of the video. This is a very artificial shot, and can be used for dramatic effect. His face is the final lasting impression of the video. The direct effect of on the audience is that it is an unsettling image because people are not used to viewing people that closely. It is quite dramatic, and perhaps slighlty intimidating, which allows the audience to feel excitement at the end. 

A hand-held camera is used as it gives a jerky, ragged effect. The direct effect of this on the audience is that hand held cameras denote a certain kind of gritty realism, and they can make the audience feel as though they are part of a scene, rather than viewing it from a detached, frozen position. The strengthens the scene as the audience feel like they are a part of it.

LIGHTING

The video, which is set mostly during the evening in the dark intensifies the scene and the direct effect on the audience is they are immersed in the tension and suspense that the artists feel. Once more, the scenery cannot be fully interpreted, which allows their imaginations to overtake and help interest the audience. 

Problems I encountered throughout my coursework

SHOT BREAKDOWN
Although I planned my shot break down throughly, I did not completely stick to the structure of it. Originally I had planned to have 5 people in my music video, but two people decided that they did not want to do it and and the other person was often unavailable. Therefore, I only had two people in my band. Although this did effect my planning, it did not effect my overall result. 

SINGING VOICE
Despite the music being a male voice, I have both a female and a male. I did not think that this was too much of an issue, and if this album were real, then obviously it would be their true voices.

QUALITY OF IPHONE
During the filming of the life band, my camera did not cope with the lack of light and some of the images became heavily pixilated. After this was picked up by my audience research, I realised this was true and in future, I think that I will use a more professional video recording camera. 

Music Video Evaluation

This is my finished video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JshO9Qth_mw

This scene is the first scene that in the video that has a projector. I think that this is effective not only because of the eye contact to the audience, but also the eye line level makes the audience feel like they are on the same level as the artist and therefore makes them more relatable. The use of the sea in the background is used because the sea is mentioned in the lyrics 'I'll wait by the sea, to hope, that me heart will come back some day...'

The name of the band 'Plan X' flashes on to the screen. This effect emphasises the name of the band. It is held there for approximately three seconds to give a dramatic long pause, so that the emphasis is really placed on who the band is.

This shot involves a pan following Andy and Molly from right to left. It also captures the graffiti wall, and helps place prominence on the surroundings. 

I also involved the performance of a live band. I went to film at the O2 Academy in Oxford. This shot shows a pan from the stage to the audience. The reason for this is to see the audiences reaction and therefore, the listeners and viewers will share the excitement that the crowd does. 

This clip here was important to be timed correctly as it changes from different projections in time with the music. Therefore, this considered special precision editing. I think that it is more effective when it moves in time with the music because it looks more in sync and professional.

This clip I edited so that it was in slow motion. I think that this was quite effective and adds further visual effects as the motion changes in the video. 

I also edited the fire so that it blazes in slow motion. I really like this effect as it suggests a peaceful calm essence. 

This footage is a pan from the left to the right showing Molly and Andy on the floor against s fire. The pan is effective because it introduces us to a new scene. At first, we can only see the smoke, as the image suggests. As the pan becomes more full, the projection of a fire is placed on top of the footage. This adds interesting dynamics to the visuals, and intensifies the heat and roar of the flames. 

This clip shows a close up of the band drummer in the band. When the camera is zoomed in the drummer is put in slow motion. This allows the audience to see his facial expressions and feel the power with which he plays the drums, which emphasises the beat of the music for the audience. 

This pan follows Molly in a complete circle. It is not only intersting to see her facial expressions in slow motion, but the audience is also drawn to the graffiti on the wall. 

Here, I split the screen to show Andy and Molly singing the final note. I did this using the same background of snow. I think that this is effective, as they have sung separately throughout the video and at the end they are united. 

The final image of Andy is in slow motion. He is staring at the camera, with a medium close up show and eye line level. i think this is effective and quite dominating. Once more, the vivid eye-contact is memorable and creates emphasis at the end of the song.

Mise-en-scene within my video

LIGHTING

• The video is set at dark, therefore, the lighting is naturally dark. 
• In a few scenes, I had to use a spotlight due to poor visibility. 
• The reason why I wanted it set during night was so that the suspense and atmosphere would increase with the visuals for example, Andy and Molly running. 

PROPS

• Props were quite minimalistic within the video. 
• The car was our largest prop which is shown in a couple of scenes. 
• The guitar is used during the camp fire scene. Its main use was to create atmosphere. It also suggested that Andy had a real natural talent with music. 
• The fire created a warm atmosphere. It suggested the intimacy between Andy and Molly and also built up the suspense that they were out alone at night. 

SCENERY

• There are many different scenes throughout the video. 
• The graffiti tunnel-creates a sense of youth, adds to the artistic nature of the indie genre, and the distinctive background also allowed me to create synergy between the video, advertisement and digipak. 
• The field- The field showed the calmness and relaxation of the video, to be with nature. As a pretty backdrop for a scene, it acted sufficiently as a interesting background. 
• Bridge- The bridge allowed me to add special effects in to the video due to the passing traffic, which had a contrasting effect with the dark atmosphere and bright lights. 
• Concert- The concert allowed the artists to have a musical persona, and showed off their talent. The actual scenery itself allowed the audience to feel as if they are watching the band live. 

COSTUME

• As explained previously, this was kept minimalistic and relaxed, just as similar existing bands dressed. 
• At first, I planned for both Andy and Molly to wear all black- however, I changed my mind, as their individual fashion sense heightened their individuality and is more likely to appeal to my target market. 

4. How did you use new media technologies in your construction and research, planning and evaluation stages?

I used a range of different elements of technology:

I used survey monkey to design and make a questionnaire so that people could take part and let me no about their music tastes etc. This was extremely helpful, as not only did the survey look professional, nut it was easy to complete online, and it meant that I didn't have to go and find people to take part as it is on the internet! I posted this link on my Facebook account so that friends would take part in the questionaire. This was a new skill that I learnt and will certainly be using survey monkey for future projects. 
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/BB87RFC

Microsoft word (with publishing layout) for design and creation on digipak and advertisement. This program may be simple, but it was so convenient for me. I already had the software, I knew how to use it, and despite it being simple, it had all I needed during the editing process to ensure that I had a professional project. 

Youtube, for finding examples of music videos, but to also analyse them. I also uploaded my own music video to Youtube. Therefore, Youtube was a very helpful resource particularly through the research stage, as it allowed me to look up many different types and genres of music videos. which only gave me more advice, feedback and ideas, which I could portray in to my own music video. Youtube helped me also to solve problems with imovie and Microsoft Word. I often watched tutorials on editing techniques and how to download my video from imovie to Youtube. This was extremely effective, and not only saved me time, but also helped me to make the most professional video. 

I used slide-share to make two small clips to show the two graphs that I had made to record the results of the votes for my Album and Band name. This programme made it easy to upload and present the information in a clear format. This was a new skill for me as I had never previously used 

I used Pinterest to gain some initial ideas about my digipack which I then adapted to make my own. 

I used my Mac to do this whole project on. This was very useful to me, as it had the necessary and professional software that I needed in order to create a successful music video. 

 Imovie was rely important to me throughout the whole process. Despite never using it before, I learnt a lot about the software and became more and more confident over time with the many different options that is provides. I am so grateful that I had this software as it was very user friendly, and helped me produce a good project. Therefore, i learnt many new skills, from how to edit my movie, add text, add audio and upload it to Youtube. I now feel confident to use the programme again, and had fun creating my music video. 

 I filmed my whole video on my Iphone and took all of my photos on it aswell. This had its pros and cons. It was extremely easy to use and I knew how to work it. It was also extremely simple to plug in to my computer, to export footage. However, as a few of my audience reviews said, there were a few moments within the video which were not the best quality and were quite heavily pixilated. This was a shame for me, as it was not visible until I viewed it on my computer. Therefore, with any future projects I think that i will use a video camera for footage which doesn't have sufficient lighting and hopefully my video will be of a better quality. 

 Lastly, I used Iphoto to store all of my photos. This was a very handy piece of software as I could store all of my photos and footage in the same place, in a particular file. It worked well and helped me to be organised and use my time well. 

Advertisement Evaluation

I made this advertisement on Microsoft Word Publishing layout. I used this software because I had easy access to it on my laptop. I also had previous knowledge of how to use it. Once more, I no of a good website manual online, which shows you how to perform more complicated tasks. I think that I would recommend this software as it is a user-friendly and I would definitely use it again. It had a wide range of techniques that I could use for the fonts which I loved, as it gave more versatility to the advert. 

The font that I used was American typewriter for the two large titles. This is to remain continuity. It is also bold and effective, and hopefully, the font would be associated to the band as a marketing technique. After taking in the opinions from my questionnaire, many people commented on the colour of the band name. 

The photos of Molly and Andy I took with the graffiti background that features partly in the video. I thought that this was important to maintain continiuty. Once more, the background linked the video and the advertisement together, which is important as it is more memorable. 

From analysing other advertisements, I was able to see what type of information other advertisements had. Some were advertising gigs, whereas other advertised albums, such as mine. 
One particular one that I looked at had a deal, so I made a deal that if you pre-ordered the album, you would receive the single straight away. I thought this was a good marketing strategy, that would entice more people to purchase the album. 
I did not use any props, however, I was able to borrow two large spotlights which lit up my image and gave a much better quality. I would use these again, as it would not have been possible without them as it was dark. 
I put a Twitter and Facebook logo on the top, as I thought that the social media pages would have more details about the gig, therefore, be of a benefit to the readers. I also included a blackberry scan pin, so that people can download information on their smart phones. I thought that the more different type of media that you can access the information from the more likely it is to be a success.
I originally had the idea of taking lots of pictures of Andy and Molly as if they were in a photo booth. I thought that this was a good idea to show how the band had a fun quirky side, which would appeal to my target market, who probably would do a similar thing. I adapted this idea for continuity purposes so that the setting linked to the video, but also because I wanted to make it slightly more unique than just in a photo booth. 


If I were to do this again, I think that I would have possibly practised different camera angles such as low angle instead of eye line level, as it could suggest that they are more dominating, which would have created more of an memorable image. 
Overall, I enjoyed designing and making my advertisement, as I had to use my own personal experience of what would catch my eye and what I would like to see in a magazine. As well as this, I made sure that my advert was appropriate for the magazines that my target market said that they read.This is why I found my questionnaire to be of a particular use. 

Digipak Evaluation

Obviously, there is a major theme running throughout my digipack, advertisement and video. With the name of the band 'Plan X', I also turned the 'X' in to the roman numeral for 10. With the Album being called 'After dark' I thought that this worked well and gave a mysterious edge to the merchandise as a whole. Therefore, the entire digipack is black and white images, representing the dark. I think that this is a useful marketing strategy, and without my research on digipacks previously, I do not think that I would have come up with the idea. The font has also remained constant, and i used AMerican Typewriter. I think this is important as a marketing strategy, and I learnt this when doing research and looking at examples such as Ben Howards album 'The Fear' and the range of consistency with his font etc. 

FRONT COVER Final Piece:

The is the front cover of my digipack and CD cover. I designed this on Microsoft Word Publishing Layout. This gave me the tools that I needed in order to design and make the final piece. I used this mainly because I had used it before, and it was a software that was available to me. I downloaded Adobe Photoshop Elements 12, however, I found this hard to co-ordinate. I was constantly looking up different tools in the online manual, and I did not think it was very productive of my time. 

It features both Andy and Molly on the from page. I thought that this was necessary to publish the band on the front because when consumers are buying the product, it is because they want to get to know, learn and feel as if they know the band.

The image is black and white, as is the rest of the digpack because, it refers to the name of the album 'After Dark.' 

Originally, I had the idea of an image that I had found on Pinterest, shown in my blog. The image had a woman sitting down, but her face had been copied and pasted as a new image and turned upside down. I thought that it was really effective and 'indie' and unique, therefore I thought that i would try something similar. 

Firstly, I made the image 16.2x16.2. This was a sizable image. Next I copy and pasted another one of the identical image below, and made it 16.2x16.2, as shown below.

Now I had two identical images. 

I then cut out the image of Molly's head and shoulders, as seen below. 

Once I cut out both Andy and Molly's head, I turned them upside down, as shown. I place them on top of the image. This was my first hurdle. I did not like the image, it looked very off balanced and didn't seem to make sense. It looked like a box had covered their faces and obscured our vision and once more, it took away the effectiveness of thee background. I did not like it and therefore though of other ways that I could portray a different look. 

I then decided to take another approach. I used a software online to cut around the image of Molly's  head, as shown below. My idea was to have the same black and white background, but have their cut out faces on top in colour. I thought that this would be effective, as their faces would stand out as a contrast against the black background. I found it challenging to cut the image accurately. I found this a time-consuming and the end result was not what I had wished for. Therefore, I thought that I would use a different software and  see if my overall outcome was of a higher standard. 

I tried cutting it out on word, which again was very time consuming and not very accurate. After trying to make it net and accurate for quite some time, I decided that it was neither good use of my time, and the outcome would not be very rewarding. 

Therefore, I had two of the same images, one in black and white and one in colour, and I cropped parts of the graffiti out, and placed i over the white and black. I often changed the contrast to make it softer so that it blended better with the image. I think that matching the graffiti up to the correct position on the image underneath was intricate work, and something that would have been easier to do on a different type of software, perhaps something such as Photoshop which had more attention to detail. However, I think that the final product was promising and I was pleased with the end result. 

Overall, making the front cover was a really enjoying experience. I thought that my location was perfect for my genre, as it captivated a typical place whee my target audience would hang out. I did not use any props in the cover, because I thought that it would steal attention from the detailed background. I used the full beams headlights from my car, as additional light was needed as the shoot took place in the evening and the image would not have been legible. I would use these again, as although I would not classify them as professional equipment, I had to work with the resources and budget that I had.   Andy and Molly were very prepared for this shoot. I told them to wear ordinary clothes, which they would wear everyday. They did this, and I am pleased with the result. If i were to do this again, I think that I would test out different software before beginning my actually project. This is something that I learnt through the editing process. If I had the time, I think this would have meant that I could use my time more wisely during the editing process. However, on the other hand, I would also keep some things the same, for example, the location and the actors. 

BACK (of inside the digipack)

The inside of the digipack was of a similar process to the front of the digipak. Again, I used Microsoft Word Publisher Layout, because it is user friendly and had the right tools for editing. I copied the image in to the documnet and sized in to 16.2x16.2, so that the digipack remained consistent. Once I had edited the image black and white, i copied another identical image with the same proportions, only this time kept it colour. 

I then copied parts of the graffiti and placed the colour version over the black and white version, similarly to before. Again I think that this created a unique and eye-catching image. 

Next, I copied an image of a lighter that I had taken a photo on Andy holding and changed the transparency to 33%. I also dulled the edges so that the lighter look like it had loomed in to the image rather than having definite bold lines. I was happy with the result. 

Finally, I drew a text box and wrote some brief information about the names of the production and editing for the album. I had this idea when I analysed the digipacks of Kasier Chiefs. Although, I am the editor, the designer, the productor, it would not be like this if it were a real CD and would feature individual names. 

Again, I did not use any props, as I thought the image was just as effective without them. 

If I were to do this part of the digpack again, I think that I would perhaps have more light projected on to the main image of Molly and Andy, to make the details even more fine. However, I am very happy with my design and feel that it portrays the genre of the band well. What more, both the images of the graffiti and the lighter are part of the video itself, and i think that it is more effective when it links to the visuals as the audience are able to remember it more. 

CD:

I created the CD once again in Microsoft word. This is because I knew it possessed the simple tools such as shapes which I could use to my advantage. Firstly, I made a template of a CD, by simply using shapes. Next, I copied the image and pasted it in to the document. I used the manual online to show me how to crop a photo in to a circle. This is something that proofed very useful and is something that I learnt throughout this process. Once I had completed this, I edited the image so that it was black and white and change the contrast so that the transparency of the image was quite strong. Then I added the roman numerals round the outside of the CD, as if it were a clock. This represents the 'after dark' and the name of the band, Plan X. Then 'X' was made more prominent and I made it 33% transparent so that the image was not disrupted. I grouped the roman numerals together so that they would stay in a perfect circle shape. After this, I added the title of the album in American Typewriter font to remain consistent. I did not put the name of the artist on there for a reason. I think that it was not important as people have bought the CD, therefore they no the band. 

Lastly, I used word art to add details about copyright and piracy. I thought that this was very important, as piracy is a major issue in the music industry. 

Once again I did not use any props in the photo. I used a school projector to project the image of Aztec patterns on to Andy and Molly. The videos that I projected I found on Youtube, and I chose it because i thought that it was an interesting and unique image.If I were to do this  again, I think that I would find a way to make the font around the edge smaller, as i think it is possibly to bold for the outside. I, however, could not find how to do this. However, I would keep the projector image the same as I think that it is interesting, and adds different dimensions to the CD despite it being black and white. 

Back of digipak:

Finally, the back of the digipak what a black and white image showing from a distance the bridge including the graffiti. I changed the image to black and white and as similar to before, I copied the same image in colour and added it on top to create a special effect. I included the clock with the roman numerals around as a clock, and included the names of the other songs on the album. Of course, i made the 'X' large to stand out and made it transparent so that it did not distract from the image. Despite it sounding simple to paste an image on top of another image, I often spent quite a long time perfecting it as the right dimensions were needed in order for the image to make sense. 

The images above and below show me cropping the exact proportions of the colour image to put on top of the black and white image. I found that different shapes and patterns were more effective, as well as lots of smaller ones rather than larger images.

Therefore, This is how I created my digipak. I enjoyed this experience, as I learnt many new things, and I am happy with the work that I produced. 

3. What have you learnt from your Audience Feedback?

As part of my audience feedback, I addressed approximately 13 16-19 years old boys and girls with this questionnaire, to get some feedback on my main project and ancillary texts. Here were five of the results:

However, I also did a lot of audience research as part of my planning as well. Originally, I interviewed 7 people about there choices of music, what genres they like, but also about where they watch music videos, which music videos they like best, whether they purchase them or just watch them online etc. This gave me the basic foundation to work on, and what I found most important was the overall vibe of what genre of music people between the ages of 16-19 listen too and appreciate. I picked indie genre for more than one reason. Not only do I no that people this age listen to this genre, being that age myself, but also because it was popular during the interviews and I think that is it the most diverse genre, as there is no particular restrictions or guideline to what indie genre is- for many it is personal opinion. Therefore, this allowed me to figure out the genre that I wished to portray. Another thing that it allowed me to make my mind up on was what type of music video I wished to make. Concept? Narrative? Performance? I was not sure which one would be most popular , therefore, decided to ask my target market about what they thought. I think that concept was most popular, and whats more I think that it is most likely to be paired with a song of an indie genre. Therefore, this helped shape my planning and final product. 
Later on, I made two charts on slide-share regarding the votes that I received for my Band and Album name. Through the results that I received, I could see that 'After dark' was the most popular name for a band and 'Plan X' was the favourite out of the choices for the Band names. This research shaped my planning and final product because without these results, I would not have produced the 'theme' of the clock and roman numerals throughout my main product and ancillary texts. This suggests to me how important my marketing and research was to my overall project, and will continue to plan as thoroughly as I did for this project for other projects in the future. 
The feedback I gained from my audience was crucial. I think that the most effective elements were the overall theme of the clock and roman numerals, as it gave the whole project something to be related too. It also gave the images and video more meaning. Certain comments were very crucial to me and I took them on board- an example of this is on my advertisement the title for the band was a light bright turquoise blue. After I had finalised the plan, most people commented and said how it did not fit with the rest of the text and that it was too 'summery' for the advetisement. I took their advise on board immediately and could understand exactly what they meant, therefore, I changed it. 
A couple of things took me by surprise about the feedback, one of which was the location which was not commented on very much, yet I thought the graffiti was a particularly effective setting.